McChurch - US Senator Taps Foot and Loses

US Senator Fined for Lewd Foot-tapping

August 28, 2007 How sweet it is to see the mighty and the righteous fall! Note that “mighty” and “righteous” are not terms that belong in the same descriptive sentence, except in the wacky world of McChurch.

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho), declared by the Christian Coalition in December 2003 to have a 100% voting record on their issues, is of uncertain denominational affiliation. His expedient withdrawal from the presidential campaign of Gov. Mitt Romney this week may, however, provide a clue. Nevertheless, it seems that Sen. Craig may be one of the most misunderstood persons in America. He keeps getting nailed for sending the wrong signals to the wrong people.

His “Political Rap Sheet” has some very interesting notations. In 1982, then Congressman Craig went on national news to deny rumors involving cocaine and sex with male congressional pages.

In October 2006, gay activist blogger, Mike Rogers, published allegations that Craig was homosexual. Craig called the allegations “completely ridiculous.”

In an interview on May 14, 2007, with the Idaho Statesman, Craig responded to a Boise gay man’s allegations that he had stood in a sexually inviting way and followed him around for a half-hour. Craig’s response: “Once again, I’m not gay, and I don’t cruise, and I don’t hit on men. I have no idea how he drew that conclusion. A smile? Here is one thing I do out in public: I make eye contact, I smile at people, they recognize me, they say, ‘Oh, hi, Senator.’ I don’t go around anywhere hitting on men, and by God, if I did, I wouldn’t do it in Boise,Idaho! Jimmy!”

That settles that, I guess.

Once again, the Senator’s actions have been misinterpreted. On June 11, 2007, he was arrested at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport on suspicion of lewd conduct. He pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct on August 8, paying a fine of $1,000 and $575 in fees and receiving a sentence of one year of unsupervised probation. “In hindsight, I should not have pleaded guilty,” he said. “I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously.”

Now, the thought lingers that, if he pleads guilty to this offense, with all its implications, what does he do when it comes to a vote on the Senate floor – handle the matter quickly and expeditiously? It gets better. The arresting officer apparently sat in a bathroom stall as an undercover agent. For those who believe in the expeditious use of time by public sector employees, you will be pleased to know how that time is spent. Homeland Security hits incredibly close to home, I suspect.

After thirteen minutes of sitting there (on a donut cushion, one hopes), the agent saw Sen. Craig lingering outside and peaking through the stall’s door crack at him from the stall next door. Here is the arresting officer’s report:

At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot.... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area. Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times.

Craig’s answer was that “…I have a wide stance when going to the bathroom, and my foot may have touched (the officer’s).” He openly criticized himself for not engaging counsel.

Wow! This is a US Senator we are talking about here – and one with a 100% Christian Coalition rating, at that! Given the fact that there are now some dozen, more or less, current and former members of Congress running for President, we may be in bigger trouble than we realize. It might be well advised to follow these folks into the restrooms and see if they are tapping their feet.

We knew that Congress has been tapping its feet for years when it comes to addressing the real problems in which our nation seems to be mired at the moment. But for cryin-out-loud, let’s reserve the foot-tapping for the official business – not the unofficial business.

Imagine a world in which people are arrested for foot-tapping in a bathroom stall and given a pass for foot-tapping in the seats of power: Foot-tapping on the economy; foot-tapping on health care reform; foot-tapping on foreign policy and Iraq; foot-tapping on education; foot-tapping on lying members of Congress.

Come to think of it, I recall hearing some foot-tapping during my sermon last Sunday. Looks like I’m good to go for another term!